Successthrulearning’s Weblog

I have been very busy over the past few days, hence the lack of posts. I have been running around and meeting up some very successful people over the last couple of days and each one I met gave me the same message. And that is “Being Wealthy is an Option”. Did you know that we all have this option but some of us do not want to exercise it. Of course there are others who may not even be aware that they have this option. These are the people who very often think that wealth can only be inherited. Hence, they have stopped looking for ways to better their lives and have settle with what they felt that life has handed down to them from the day they were born.

During one of my meetings with these successful people, I was told to go check out the bookstores for the autobiographies of successful people and learn from them.  It was not a surprise for me to find that many of these successful people were not born with a golden spoon, or even a silver one at that. I see that most of them started off life with average working class parents, some a little better off, whilst some were even below the average income background. However, what is the common denominator amongst these successful people were their strong beliefs and desires that life has better things to offer to them. They just cannot accept that they are stuck with what they were born with.

They started with a strong desire and they also carried on with persistence and hard work. It does not mean that it was smooth sailing all the way for most of them. They met with obstacles, failures, hardships but they never gave up. They did not let anything stop them from striving towards their dreams. Some of them never stop to consider if they had the right connections, they were born the right color. I know many of us can write a bookful of reasons why we will not be or cannot be wealthy in this lifetime. Some of us will think that we do not have the right education or enough education, no time, no sufficient start-up capital, don’t know enough people, no products or services to sell, and also no idea as to what to do. But if only we were to open our eyes, ears and minds to everything around us. The opportunities are always there, if we wanted them.

Go pick up some of these books and have a good read. Or go talk to people who are successful and you will soon realize that “Being Wealthy is really an Option”.

Are they times when you suspect that you are being lied to? I have been having this feeling a lot lately, especially since my friends know that I have just started my own little business. For whatever reasons, they probably think that the minute I appear in front of the faces, I am going to sell them my products.. Ha Ha. Some of them will suddenly remember urgent important meetings, or equally important errands. These are easy to spot. But I think what is harder to spot would be situations where you are either about to be taken advantaged off or fooled by more experienced liar. And off course, also in business negotiation deals, would it be great if we are able to read from the other party’s gestures and mannerisms to gauge their thoughts?

Have you heard of Allan Pease, the Mr. Body Language himself? I have read one of his many books “People Skills For Life – Easy Peasy” which he wrote together with his wife. Anyway, he has also written many books on techniques for reading body language signals to give us confidence and control in any face-to-face encounter. I have watched his full length video on this and it was very insightful. This is the excerpt of the interview :

SKYQUESTCOM: Today we’re privileged to have Allan Pease. Allan, you’re famous for your series on body language. How did you get started in this area and why?

ALLAN: Well it started for me back in the late 1960’s teaching salesmen how to work things out when you’re face to face with someone – whether they’re with you or against you. Whether they’re likely to say “yes” or “no”. And observing the gestures and movements they had made that were relative to a positive decision versus a negative one.

And back in the early 1970’s, this became a training course on a brand new cassette medium called “audio cassette” – a little cassette tape that nobody had. We used to buy a 6-pack of that, with a cassette player because nobody had a cassette player. And that became a 16-mm set of training films in 1972, which is one of the first on 16-mm. And in 1976, it became a book called Body Language, which then went #1 worldwide and continued to be a best-seller for 31 years.

SKYQUESTCOM: What is the appeal of Body Language?

ALLAN: The appeal of Body Language in the book on the series and everything connected with it is simply that everybody likes to be able to work out what the other person is thinking – “How am I coming across with others?”, “Do they like me?”, “Are they with me?”, “Are they against me?”, “Are they going to say ‘yes’?”, “Are they going to say ‘no’?”

Of course, in business, that is a critical skill to be able to have. If you can do this in business, you’ll do very well! Which is why women are so successful at it because they’re good at it. And the other aspect, of course, is your social life. If you can work out with someone who likes you in your social life, you’ll save a lot of time.

SKYQUESTCOM: What is something about yourself in your background that surprises people when they find out?

ALLAN: Well, I think the most unusual thing about me and my background is – because I am one of the world’s biggest-selling authors on Psychology. They expect that I’m a Psychologist. In fact, I’m not. My training is in Finance and teaching negotiators how to sell Finance. Which is where the body language came from.

I’ve always had a dramatically keen interest in human behavior, why we do things we do. I am just fascinated with everything about human beings. I am fascinated by that. And that’s led me to nearly 40 years now to study everything about humans. I’m trying to work out where its history might be, where its origin is and importantly to develop strategies and techniques that you can use to win people over and do better with others in your personal and social life.

Basically, what the video covered were these areas:-

What you’ll discover in “How to Read Anyone”

• Techniques for reading body language signals such as how handshakes are used to gain control
• How to tell without a doubt that somebody is lying to you
• Common male and female courtship gestures and signals
• How to break the masks of “professional actors”
• How to use non-verbal cues and signals to communicate more effectively and get the success you want
• And much more!

“If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won’t, you most assuredly won’t. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.” Dennis Waitley

Denis Waitley is one of America’s most respected authors, keynote lecturers and productivity consultants on high performance human achievement. He has inspired, informed, challenged and entertained audiences for over 25 years from the board rooms of multi-national corporations to the locker rooms of world-class athletes and in the meeting rooms of thousands of conventioneers throughout the world. And I would like to share something that was written by him which could be something many of us may have forgotten in our daily pursuit of our material well-being.

It is so important to be living in prime time, rather than watching TV in prime time. On your way to success make certain you grow friendships, not just bank and mutual fund accounts.. Life is a collection of memories, not of material things. The Egyptian pharaohs were buried with all their treasures, and were mummified in hopes that they could enjoy their bounty in the next life. But we are only caretakers of possessions. There is a big difference between standard of living and quality of life. Standard of living is based on income earned. Quality of life is the enjoyment of the millions of minutes in between accomplishments.

Having money is only one aspect of wealth. To the sick person, wealth is health. To the lonely person, wealth is someone to talk to and share with. To the estranged person, wealth is hearing words of love and forgiveness.

Borrowing the free verse style from Brother Jeremiah’s classic poem, I’d Pick More Daisies, here are a few things I’d do, the second time around.

I’d laugh at my misfortunes more. Spend more time counting my blessings than my blemishes. Spend more time playing with my children and grandchildren and less time watching performers in the arena. More time enjoying what I have, less time thinking about the things I don’t have. If I could live my life again, I’d walk in the rain more without an umbrella and listen less to weather reports. I’d spend more time looking at trees and climbing them, less time flipping through magazines made from dead trees. I’d spend more time fully involved in the present moment, less time remembering and anticipating. I’d smile more, frown less.

And most of all I’d be more spontaneous and active, less hesitant and subdued. When some spur of the moment idea came up to go hiking, playing Frisbee, coloring Easter eggs, singing in a chorus, going kayaking, or watching an eclipse, I’d be less likely to sit in my chair objecting, “It’s not in our plan.’

I’d be inclined to jump up and run out the door next time and say, “Yes, we can!’ Although I can’t live my life again, I’m still going to live the new way every day any way. I’ll never have all the moments I’ve missed, but I do have all the time remaining.

Action Idea – Choose one activity this month that you really want to engage in, but that you have been putting off because it isn’t a priority. Schedule that activity in your planner, as if it were a “must do’ business or financial commitment. When you have done it, while you are still feeling good, schedule one for next month, and do it as long as you live.   

So, seek balance in life.. the middle path in your life’s journey.

Lunch time these days are spent in front of the PC, with my Bento lunch, watching and learning from successful people. Today, I was watching Major Jeffrey Goh’s seminar entitled “Even Eagles Need a Push”. His was really a very refreshing, down to earth presentation which was entertaining, funny and so much common sense in it that is rather uncommon these days. In his presentation, he mentioned Jack Weaver and that lead me to another set of presentations. I will have to leave Jack for tomorrow’s lunch but what Jack had to share was equally powerful. Jack Weaver is a multi-millionaire and an active investor using his strategies to build multi-million dollar companies starting with little money, employing over 100 staff and multiple chain stores.

Major Jeffrey Goh spoke of the 5 Qualities of very successful and empowered people. The analogies which he gave truly touched home. Let me see if I can do him justice here.

1) Self Appreciation – Who Am I?

Many of us appreciate the good things in life, the beauty of others, but we forget to appreciate ourselves. We forget that we are special, we are unique and special. We should never let events that happen in our lives bring down our self worth. When events which are not favorable happens to us, like when we get retrenched, it does not make us less worthy. Furthermore, how we choose to respond to the event will determine the outcome we get. Major Goh share this formula E + R = O, which is Events + Respond = Outcome. So, in the example given, in the event we get retrenched, and even at a ripe age of near retirement, let that not stop us from responding in a manner that will bring us favorable outcomes.

2) Vision – Where Am I Going?

Do you agree that many of us only have a very hazy vision of where we are going in our life? And even if we did have a vision, it will only be a very near sighted one. When we were in school, our vision was probably only to get into a good college. At University, our vision was only to land a good job. When we start working, we only vision ourselves happily married. None of us really think about where we want to be when we are in our middle age, when that should be what we ought to be thinking about. Why? When you are middle age, and you start thinking of having financial freedom and not having to slog as hard, day and night, don’t you think it could be a bit too late for some? I like the example which he gave about Alice in Wonderland. Alice arrived at a crossroad and she could not decide whether to go down the left road or the right road. The Alice asked the Cheshire Cat, “Which road should I take?”. The Cheshire Cat asked Alice “And where do you want to do?”. Alice answered “I don’t know?”. So the Cheshire Cat replied “Then it doesn’t matter which road you take Alice coz you don’t even know where you want to go!”.

3) Purpose in life – Why Am I Here?

Many of us have never thought of this and even for those of us who have, we probably would not have the answer to that question. Mother Teresa knew her purpose in life. I am sure Bill Gates does too. But do we? If we don’t have any clue, then think about these reasons – To Live; To Love; To Learn and lastly, To Leave a Lasting Legacy

4) Commitment

Major Goh talked about Interests vs Commitment. Now this is something which I never really thought about. Interest is when it is something you like to do but at the first sign of an inconvenience, you give up. Like going to the gym. When it rains, you don’t go. When the traffic is bad, you tell yourself there is tomorrow. A commitment is different. When you are committed to something, you will never let anything stop you from getting what you want. Was that how you felt when you were trying to woo that girl or guy that you like so much?

5) Contribution

I liked this last bit the best. Major Goh shared a conversation between a porker and a cow. The porker (pig) said to the cow one day “How come people like you more than they like me? Even when I give so much to them?”. The cow replied “What do you mean my friend?”. The porker continued “You give them milk and cheese but I give them my meat for ham, my hair for brushes, they even pickle my trotters but still they like you better. Can you explain that to me?” The cow thought for a while ” I give while I am still alive. You give only when you are dead”. It is better to give willingly and while one is still alive. When one is dead, it does not matter any more.

His presentation lasted more than 40 minutes and I just cannot put everything down to share. You’ve just got to watch it yourself. And he is just one of the many many successful speakers to learn from everyday. WOW!

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I was blog surfing when I came across a blog named “Malay Women In Malaysia” who’s post today was entitled “American Economy Collapsing“.

There was a video which was rather disturbing about the state of America’s economy. I was also online with an old Uni friend in Birmingham late last evening and he was telling me that things are that great either there.

This was something which I extracted from Malay Women’s blog which I felt was really the truthful, blunt but painful reality which most of us are starting to feel, if not already feeling.

“Ignorant Malaysian suckers out there better watch out. You folks better curb your lavish spending and start saving money. The American economy is collapsing and it will send ripples to the global economy including our very own very soon. I’m not panicking but I want you folks to know that you can expect hellish time in the next few months!“

So, it is time to start doing something about it before the bad times really hit us? Bad times translated into pay-cut or worse, retrenchments, business failures. The weather is really looking rather gloomy. Take in the wash honey!

Have many of you heard of this phrase “To be successful, you will have to learn from those who are already successful”. That is why people read books written by already successful people, or attend seminars given by successful people. Would it not be better if you could be in the physical presence of successful people, who are willing to share their success stories with you. And to offer words of advice and guidance on how to become as successful as they are? Well, I had that opportunity last night.

It was on Hari Raya eve when I received an SMS from my good friend in the business to come for a meeting with Richard Tan on Friday at 7:30pm in Citidel. My first thought was, the Richard Tan? Wow!!! The CEO of Success Resources Pte Ltd and the CEO of SkyQuestCom. How many times has your CEO asked for a meeting with you? But then if he did (in my case), my first thought would either be (1) to fire me (but then again, I am not so significant that he has to fire me personally) or (2) it was a mistake. Someone else probably has a same name with me or close enough.

Our meeting was at the coffeehouse in Citidel. We (there were 10 of us) were warmed up by the General Manager of SkyQuestCom (Terence) and by the time Richard came down from his room, we were all sitting there in anticipation of what it is like to meet up with a real life multi-millionaire. I for one, expected it to be no less than meeting the Queen of England (bowing and the kissing hand bit hahaha) but when Richard came to the table, the feeling he generated was exactly like we were meeting with an old friend. He shook all our hands and sat down. To break the ice, Terence asked a question which was what we all wanted to ask but were still a bit apprehensive. Terence asked “If there was one word of advice, just one, what would it be that will help us to become as rich and successful as you are?”. Richard answered “Terence, is this your question? Or is it their question?”. Ha Ha.. in my mind.. it was a question that all who want to be successful would ask.

Richard’s answer was this “If a person desires to be rich and successful, there is just one thing he has to remember. And that is …………………..”. And I got a few pages of notes on all the wisdom nuggets he threw out yesterday. I can’t wait to share these with people with the same mind set “to be rich and successful” and the first few that I will share this with will be my teammates and my PreEnrollers (you know who you are *wink*). For those who are really interested, do write to me and I will send the notes to you.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri!

Richard and Me

Richard and all of us